wow! how fun

I dont think tolerance is something that is taught. Personally, i feel that it is something learned. Sure, parents can think that they have taught their kids what its like to be tolerant, or to be tolerant period. However good a job parents have done "teaching" their kids such a thing, the expression on a kids face, the words that come out of their mouth, or the thoughts that race in their mind says something different.

People are different. But, however different a person is, in our society, sexuality isnt a question of being straight or not. your straight, or your different. of coarse i dont feel that way, but who am i? a seventeen year old queer kid from the bay area. I dont think i'd get the expressions, the words or the thoughts if i was a straight kid who banged chicks and had lots of money.

on the contrary, i dont have sex with females and i dont have lots of money. wealth doesnt determine my happiness and neither does the amount of pussy i get either. i dont like rap music, and im not racist. however, on the flip side of not being racist, i dont like all black people.

i think the reason why i dont like alot of black people is because they have been where the majority of my grief comes from. I am a fag. i am a queer. i like to suck dick, and i sure the hell love to look at naked men. i like men and men only. straight from the homo's fingers. got it?

im not in the closet either. i dont ever think i was period. i never had a reason to be. i dont live in fear that the world is going to come crashing down on me, and i sure didnt fear the fact that when i told my family, they'd kick my ass the hell out. No, i never lived in fear of what might come if i told people that i am now who i was born to be. i never had to fear anyone or anything because i knew who i was before all the other straight kids did. i wasnt alive in the times of stonewall. i didnt fight for gay rights directly, but my struggle is being out and proud everyday. thats my idea of fighting. i let other gay and lesbain folk know that it IS ok to be gay or lesbian.

just because i am more secure with the person i am doesnt mean its ok for the kids who like pussy to call me names. i dont go around calling "normal" kids names. i dont say their faces smell like rotten fish. i am not derogitory towards people who are different from me. im a decent guy who likes to do guy things. i like to go out, have a few beers come home, watch a sport on tv, fart, scream and holler, then crash out, drooling on myself. It doesnt happem many times a year, but i like to do manly things.

i think a big reason why people call other people names is because they have something that they either arent proud of or are questioning something on the inside. thats ok. we all do it. its natural and everyone goes through it. just dont make other peoples lives more miserable because of it. let others live their lives coinsidingly with yours, let them be free of ridicule and hurtful comments.

and as far as being nice to people who are different from yourselves, i dont mean not saying anything directly to them. is it possible to keep what you think or wanna do in your head. dont voice your own personal opinion and patronize others. its what you think, its not what others believe and it surely isnt fact. most of the time.

In out society, i feel thats it is drasticaly important to be open-minded and prepared for new things. without diversity, the world would crumble, and who knows how big of an impact on the earth gay and lesbian people have.

there, i said it, happy?

amy, i didnt know you wrote in this after i stopped..

however long it has been, i think im going to write in all of my journals except xanga.com, cause im not asian...

Well, today was pretty good. i was late for school though, wihich wasnt cool. i had to answer the phone when they called and booted me offline twice, so i didnt get in trouble... well, i guess i wouldnt get in trouble, cause my dad was up when i left... : /

i didnt do alot at school. i worked the NEW student store when break rolled around. we made a total of 48.15, which is bank for alittle god for saken island high school store...

read this:

Hail Mary Mother of Jesus... Forgive Me For I Have Sinned. It Has Been..... An Eternity Since My Last Confession.

Hail Mary Mother of Jesus... Forgive Me For I Have Sinned. It Has Been..... An Eternity Since My Last Confession.



Sins are prevalent among the time i exist in. Sinners from every walk of life. people who envy and people who kill. im surrounded by things condemnable by the book. Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.

i admit. the not so admirable things that humanity has accepted that are all but holy, have been forced upon me and left its mark. the mark of the beast.

im not the same god fearing being that was sent here on a mission from god.

i dont believe in that sort of thing, and i dont enjoy reading into it that much either. i am proud in a way to say that i dont believe in god. its not natural for me. it isnt right. or at least it doesnt seem right. thing arent simple anymore, and because of that, im the product of america. the land of the free, the brave and the chaotic.

things have changed my friend, in the heaven which im not sure exists. its different. nothing is the same and you know it.

if you do exist, give me a sign. while time typing this, im saying it out loud. im asking for a sign. call it asking for something from "someone" that has really given me nothing to show for his existance.

i used to believe that you'd one day come to the earth and reap the failtful ones, but i have seen nothing of the sort. where were you when countless people died in events your supposed to see. your an almighty see-er, and yet, somehow i think that you should have, more like could have done something to stop it all. what did they do?

alot of them sat in uncomfortable seats or benches hearing your word and feeling it fill their mind. making them want to worship you in every way possible. maybe going out on a limb and recruiting others for that army of yours. and yet, you sat on that cloud in heaven watching people die horrible deaths. you sat there and watched it.

how is that admirable?

its really not. its actually something to be ashamed of. if i was you, i would have done something about it. something. nothing huge or extravigant. just something simple enough to stop the genocide, the mass murders and the pain and suffering friends and families would feel for lifetimes.

what can you show for yourself?

you put the tree of knowledge in the garden of eden, you gave adam and eve minds, and you told them not to eat from it. it was ripe, delicious, sweet and oh so tempting. as you later found out!

were we created for your pleasure. were we created in your image so you could play with us like puppets on strings? i guess so, because all in all, thats what you've done.

micromanaging wasnt the answer, and you found out that the hard way...

your strong. but not strong enough. adam and eve rebelled. they ate the fruit from the tree. maybe they were hungary, or maybe they were bored, but guess what? the powers that you take for granted now a days wasnt strong enough then, and sure isnt strong enough now!

are we better off because of the actions that adam and eve took then? now, are we better off because we wanted something more than to be couped up in a garden?

is it bad to feel awkward about being naked? sure, we came out naked, but not everyone is favorable to look at. clothes are fashionable, relativly cheap, and they tell people who we are. its a statement that we make. much like the rebellious statement adam and eve made not to long ago?
the old testimate is a kick. i mean a big kick in the ass. if we lived and died by the old testament, im not sure what the world would be like.

eating shellfish and pork is a sin? who would have thought. i cant wear clothes made of out more than one fabric? cotton shrinks buddy, and i like to "fit" into the clothes i wear.

im not saying anything now what others have said in the past.

im 17. im young, and i'll make mistakes. ill learn from them, and ill make better choices...

i still got one thing to say!

what have you got to show for yourself?


how do you like that? i wrote that along time ago.. i was bored i guess...

anyways, ill ttyl ppl

oh my gosh! I took a test and they said i was "an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child."lol!!!!!!!! im so affended. *on jerry springer* "You dont know me! You dont know me!"

heres nina's! LOL!!!!!!!!! "Napina Berdean"

AHHHHHHHHH! LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!I put Amy Herrera and it put "Amberly Herberta" HERBERTA!!!!!!!!LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1AHHHHHHHHHH!I CANT GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!1 LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO

when u put the 1st letters as cap's (not lower case) then its a different name. when i put amy brainard in lower case it shows this "Jamalyn Aubryauna" wow.....how ugly. lol!!!!!!!!! these names r funny!!!!!!!

k, and heres what happens when i put in Amy Brainard "Amberly Brindie-Jade "

HEY! aaaaaalriiight. wtf now? i put my name in it again and it said "Jamalyn Precious Blessing " lol!!!!!!!!!!!! Jamalyn! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait. Kaytee's jamalith. I'm leroyism. DAMN! =( that would have been SO funny!!!!!!!!!!! Lemme see if it gives me another moronic name

oh my gosh. LOL!!!!!! I thought at 1st that that said ur "moron" name. LMAO!!!!!!! alright, anyways, my morman name (however u spell it) is "Amberly Young Elizabeth". LOL!!!!!!!How retarded! I guess i can call it a moron name! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Sounds like one! lol!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Mormon name is Archilus Lavenard!
What's yours?

this is copenhagen. Copenhagen is in denmark, the place where i plain on taking myself in exactly one years time! i like these buildings, they remind me of like an olden-time new england, only in present day denmark!


this, yet again, is another picture of copenhagen. i think this city has alot of old victorian stuff in it, and i like that kind of stuff

anyways, im done with the pictures, its alot of work. i just wanted everyone to see where im going!!!

so yeah, today was boring, i went to alameda, and chilled with michael, kiki, and shasta!
it was fun i guess, but we didnt really do anything interesting, we smoked ciggarettes and then i had a beer and a strawberry daqueri's...

so yeah, i dont know what im doing tomorrow, but it will most likely be dull, and boring.. call me who ever this is reading my thingy... 412 3394!

this is sick. i mean i have like 4 journal things, and i only write in this one... its sad, but im over it

im too tired to be apathetic.

so, amy, im glad i came over the other day, and i hope i can do it again.

your the only gurl id ever date. the only one! its weird to say that, but i feel to comfortable around you! so there, i said it...

ok everyone, i didnt do anything today, but clean and take an application to a job i want... so, there, im a lazy school-less bum.

speaking of, i am sitting on my bum right now! he he he